The Friday Dispatch: March 28, 2025
We are so back (and by "we" I mean the Kansas City Royals)
Happy baseball season! The Royals had their first game of the 2025 season and suffered what I am sure will be their one and only singular loss. I spent a decent chunk of my week organizing clothes, and I am pleased to say I could probably wear a different KC Royals shirt every game for a month. For opening day, I sported this little fella, who is very cute and from a boutique near my hometown.
He kinda reminds me of this traumatized child from Gravity Falls.
Tomorrow is donut day!!! Almost every Saturday is donut day, which means every Friday morning, I wake up and I think, “At this time tomorrow I will be on my way to eat a donut.” The café by my apartment sells pastries from Colson Patisserie. They’re all good or great. But the jelly donuts??? The jelly donuts are SO GOOD I genuinely get emotional when I think about them. Jelly donuts are my favorite donuts, but these guys elevate the form and leave all other breakfast pastry weeping in their wake. Every Saturday morning, I eat one of these jelly donuts. And every Friday night, I fall asleep thinking, “I hope they have donuts tomorrow.”
Two things about two things
Earlier this week I published my second installment of “These Two Things,” a column that is like What I Did Not Buy This Week but not. That’s two sessions of These Two Things, for anyone doing math at home! If you would like to read about four things, well, great news, that is an option for you. The two things I discussed this week are both, technically, free; one will help you manage your money, and one will help you stick to your goals. The two things I discussed in last month’s installment are free or cheap, will help you manage your time, could make you happier…and one of them is sparkly.
These posts are exclusive to paid subscribers, and for a limited time, I’m offering a free trial of my upgraded subscription! Very soon, I will be launching a new zine, Reporter, and I am going to feature behind-the-scenes content on my “premium” Substack. And I want you to see it! So please, if you have not already, upgrade your subscription with a free trial (which will also give you access to my full archive of posts) (including a list of my all-time favorite poems, a newspaper column I wrote when I was in high school, and an essay about my feet).
Actually, this week’s TTT post will tell you my hack for subscribing to new Substack newsletters without breaking the bank. May be worth a shot!
Speaking of my new zine—I’ll be reading some of the first poems from Reporter at the Herbal Supplements reading series on Monday. And speaking of free—it’s free! No admission! You can RSVP here, if you would like, and I’ll see you at Cherry On Top in Bushwick on Monday at 8pm.
Great ideas I have stolen recently
On my list of goals for March, I had listed “memorize some poems.” This is something I used to do with regularity, but I had fallen off in adulthood. I was dilly-dallying on doing it this month, too, and then Garth Greenwell published a post titled “how memorizing poems will change your life.” It includes tips and tricks on how to memorize, but spoiler: there is no trick. Like all creative endeavors, the “secret” to doing something is…doing it. In a bit of synchronicity, the poem I had picked to memorize first, before even seeing Greenwell’s post, was Prayer (I), one of my favorite poems…and the author of which, George Herbert, is mentioned in that linked newsletter.
My monthly goal for January was kind of a weird one. I wanted to ring a little bell every day after work. Why? Well, per Anna Havron’s blog on ceremonial actions, I wanted to indicate that I was finished with my Day Job and ready to move on to Living Life Hattie Style. Then, among my Christmas gifts from Myles was a little set of hanging bells, which I put over my desk. I’ve managed to keep up this habit since January. I finish work, I shut my computer, and I ring my bell while saying “THE END!”
It’s fun.
From Anna Havron:
"By changing up your old routine — even in a small way, even for a short time — you signal to yourself that you are open to bigger transitions....The idea of a ceremonial action is to help to prepare yourself and strengthen yourself for transitions, for change and the unknowns that come with it. And for some of us; it’s also an excuse to ring a bell."
I highly recommend stealing this idea for yourself. If you wanna change it up with an “All done!” or “That’s all, folks!” I won’t stand in your way.
Would you like to jam?
Do you want to party? Do you want to boogie or even get down? Do you ever go to karaoke and do every single Black Eyed Peas song they have even though none of your friends know B.E.P. and it’s clear they are worried about you?
Then you might enjoy this YouTube song mix.
Then again…perhaps you don’t want to listen to my musical recommendations. Here is a text my brother sent me yesterday:
The song in question was Cruising California (Bumpin’ In My Truck) by The Offspring, which I assume they recorded while being possessed by the malevolent spirit of Katy Perry. It is so, so horrible, and I hope I get to hear them play it live.
WIDNBTW
Full disclosure, guys: I bought a lot of shit this week. Sometimes it just happens. A lot of it was secondhand, like the $2 Kikki K planner I got on Mercari (expect a post about this experiment in the coming weeks—will I switch from the planner I’ve been using for TEN YEARS to an A5 binder system?!).
Here is what I did NOT buy this week.
Perfume from Ffern, a mail-order small-batch perfumerie that only offers samples WITH the purchase of its $129 perfumes. Bold strategy! NOT paying off! I am not paying one-hundred-something dollars to try a vial of perfume and then send you back the big bottle if it is stinky.
Flowers! I did not buy flowers this week. But I’ve had them in my house all week! Because last week, Myles bought me flowers, and on Sunday, Chloe sent me home with a bunch of daffodils from her garden.
Doggy key ring (he is sooooooo handsome)
This Old Navy dress, which is pretty, but has been fluctuating between $29.99 and $34.99 all week. Sorry to be mean, but…is Old Navy forty dollars now? I just got two new-to-me Maeve dresses from the Anthropologie x Nuuly resale program (thank you, Rebecca, for alerting me to the floral dress, which IS made for me and which I WILL wear until it falls apart). I got TWO dresses, original retail price totaling $350, for under $45. They both fit like a dream. And while they were not brand-new, but slightly used via the Nuuly rental service, they were in perfect condition. So…Old Navy, what are we doing?!
Any of these great fun jewelry items from 1928 Jewelry, which hits my sweet spot of “looks well-made and suitable for formal settings but also has an animal or flower on it”
Mr. Clean Magic Erasers. PSA to everyone, but especially my friend
, who had an editorial accident this week (red pen escaped the desk and entered her CLOTHES DRIER): buy “melamine sponges” instead! Go to a hardware store or a restaurant supply store or online or Walmart and ask for melamine sponges. They are the same thing, at 1/5 of the price, for some reason. Also, you can chop 'em up and make a single pack last forever.This little bear beekeeper. What’s his story! Why’s he catching that bee! What’s going on!
The Chani 2025 Yearbook, which my friend
has. It’s VERY fun for any astrology nerds out there and also has a major Rookie Mag look.Sushi. Myles bought sushi. He ordered it and it got here really fast. And now I am gonna go eat it. Yay! Bye!!!