The Friday Dispatch: November 17, 2023
If you need me I'll be practicing my Creed karaoke
Hey what’s up! It’s Friday, and I’m teaching my cat to tell time.
Celebrate Chloe’s Birthday With Me
Earlier this week, my best friend
celebrated her birthday! On the Big Day, she out a great edition of her newsletter, . The essay focuses on Chloe’s annual “new year” ritual, how she checks in with herself about her goals and dreams, and the immense power of reflection. Celebrate her birthday with me by reading and sharing the post, and subscribing to Chloe’s newsletter, which is like being handed a mug of pumpkin bisque on a crisp chilly day.
Assorted Cats
Dottie KNOWS what time her meals are. 6am breakfast, 1230pm lunch, 6pm dinner. Two of her meals are distributed via automated, timed feeder. Lunch is wet food, and therefore my responsibility. Dottie has been having trouble adjusting to daylight savings time, and every day, at 1128am, she walks up to my desk and begins biting my leg. I’m trying to ignore her (and wear thick sweatpants) so she does not accidentally learn that Biting Mom = Nutrients Immediately. But, really, I think it has been two weeks and she needs to get up to speed.
So today, when Dottie started nipping at me, I made it until 11:50 before I took the clock off my desk and put it on the ground in front of her. “When the big hand is on the six, that is when it is time for you to eat. You wait until the BIG hand is on the SIX. That is when it is time for lunch. Okay?”
I’ll be damned if she didn’t watch that clock until 12:28, then come bite me AGAIN.
Earlier in the week, I was looking on Google Maps for a bar where I could meet up with my friend Stephanie. I was drawn to Bar and Books because of the name, and while we didn’t end up going there, I want you all to see the street-view photo. Can you see it? The tourist attraction???
Delightful.
Also this week, a screenshot of one of my all-time favorite Tumblr posts came up in my Instagram feed. I read it to my boyfriend, out loud. “You know, I think you’ve sent me this post more than any other,” he said.
“Yes,” I responded, and then sent him the post I’d just read out loud.
Here’s the thing, though! A kitty IS like a stuffed animal that is so heavy and it bite you and she loves you so much and you’re best friends!!!
CAN YOU TAKE MEEEE HIIIIGHHHERRRR
Wow, I really want to sing Creed at karaoke, but I’ve been listening to “Higher” all week, singing it over and over, and it is HARD! We were doing living room karaoke last night, and neither I nor Myles could get through the entirety of the song without fatigue. And I cannot get ANY of the notes right. And what is up with these lyrics?! They’re horrible. I love ‘em so much.
I also got REAL into Chappell Roan this week, so even if I am not Creedworthy, I can at least do a flawless Femininonenon, as I proved in a spur-of-the-moment at-home karaoke decision.
Behind the Scenes: The Artist at Work
Earlier in the week I had to have my photo taken for a thing (my headshots are woefully out of date!) which meant putting on eyeshadow and a bra, during the DAY of all times.
Of course, the moment we had a good snapshot I changed back into my work uniform, aka a hoodie and shorts. I feel that these two pictures, taken MOMENTS apart, contrast the gritty harsh nature of being an artist vs the glossy appearance:
During a clothing swap with friends, I scored a big poofy pink princess dress from my friend Rosa. It has become my “writing gown,” and I wear it when I am working on a poem or on my novel in order to stay in a flowy, creative headspace AND as an incentive to actually write. Highly recommend getting a comfy, dramatic gown if you find yourself struggling to escape a creative rut.
What I Didn’t Buy This Week
I keep getting served a targeted ad for this WWE replica championship belt hanger. While I like wrestling, I don’t think I’ve EVER logged on to the WWE merch site – did they see the rest of my search history and say “oh yeah, this lady’s got some BIG belts and she’d probably like a hanger for them”?
Also, Walmart REALLY REALLY wants me to buy something called “Crom 3.” I don’t know what that is. I have NEVER sought out Crom. Why do I get this ad on every website six times a day.
It’ll be a cold day in hell before I spend $10 on a flavored toothpaste, but it’ll be an even colder one when I stop looking for a coupon. If I can bring the price down to $3 or less, I’ll bite. Literally. This is 1/4 the volume of a normal toothpaste, but you want me to pay 5 times as much because....it comes in flavors like grape bubblegum and red velvet cake? Well, bad news idiots, I'm JUST BARELY too smart for that!
Yo. I want this $1,000 Soicher Marin cat art so bad. Look at it. The energy.
I have perfected my oven rice recipe so, unfortunately, I do not need this adorable Sailor Moon rice cooker.
That is it for tonight, folks! Tomorrow I’ve gotta go to the eye doctor and see if they can put new, improved lenses in my favorite round pink glasses. If not, oh well! Guess I’ll just squint. (Kidding kidding kidding. I’ll get contacts, at least).
Thanks again for reading. I’m not sure how on-theme I’ll be for next week’s fall holiday festivities, but you’ll certainly hear from me, and chances are, I will mention pie. Chat with you then! Oh, and remember: A kitty is like a stuffed animal that is so heavy and it bite you and she loves you so much and you’re best friends.
I need you to know Creed and 3 Doors Down are touring together