The Friday Dispatch on a Saturday: November 30, 2024
Large busy-ness Hatturday (????? roll with it)
Happy Vegsgiving! Sorry for being late. I typed most of this yesterday but didn’t have great WiFi on the plane, and then I didn’t want to send it late at night, when my flight landed back in NYC.
Anyway, time-traveling to the past: Hi! I am writing you from the airport, about to head home from my first joint-family Las Vegas Thanksgiving! Myles and I flew to Nevada on Tuesday night. We had PLANNED to grab a late-night snack or a cocktail with his parents, my parents and my brother around 10pm.
United Airlines had other plans!
As dedicated Hattheads may recall, back in September, Myles and I spent a thrilling seven hours on the tarmac at Newark, waiting for our flight to Barcelona to take off (it did not). Perhaps because this was a measly domestic flight, United only delayed us by 3.5 hours en route to Vegas—not enough time to give us real food, just enough time that we landed around 1:30am and weren’t at our hotel til after 2am.
Luckily, it’s Vegas, and you’re always going to be able to find a flat-rate $21 taxi in the middle of the night in Vegas. So!
We got to our hotel, slept, woke up, got dressed in our sportiest sportswear and went to meet our families at a food court. Did you know: they make a bagel with hash browns IN IT??? And: Cinnabon lets you have caramel AND pecans AND chocolate on your cinnamon roll!!????
This was supposed to be a “light” breakfast because right after, we headed to Play Playground at the Luxor. It is what it sounds like: an indoor play place / arcade for adults only, with 15 or so games to play solo or as teams. For our group of 8, it took 3 hours to get our fill of the fun, and we left a couple of the “tame” activities undone. I think if you took fewer people, you could clear the whole place in under 2 hours. My favorite game was either the rainbow ringer run (move a magnetized wand down a hallway, through obstacles, without hitting the metal track) (my brother was AMAZING at this) or the poker parkour (walk a balance beam while giant poker chips slam into you). The bouncy maze was also a top choice even though we all regretted doing that to our knees.
The last activity we did was the human bullseye, which involves Velcro suits, a Velcro wall, and a trampoline. I fell the most of anyone, but Myles is the one who wound up with a true shiner of a forehead bruise. Here’s what Big Velcro doesn’t want to tell you: Velcro is scratchy! And if you jump face-first into it repeatedly, it will freaking GET you!!! At one point, I got stuck on the wall and an employee had to come detach me/the suit/my hair.
I would do it all again! Also, by the time we had to leave, we’d amassed enough points to buy some shot glasses and stickers, which are the exact souvenirs I’d be buying anyway in Vegas.
We spent a lot of time walking around the strip, doing plenty of window shopping and a little shopping-shopping. We visited the Flamingo (which I have been to before) and the flamingo habitat there (which I have NOT been to before!).
It’s a little weird to see flamingos standing and preening in front of mirrors when it’s 45 degrees and windy outside. We also saw many fish, ducks and a pelican. He was kind of a robust and colorful freak. Would love to know more.
Then, on Thanksgiving, we ate dinner at the Peppermill diner. It has been my personal favorite place to eat in Vegas since 2019. We made the reservation about a month before the big day. When I called to book a table, I learned that the restaurant would have both their normal menu AND a Thanksgiving special, which was the ideal situation for our particular company (I am a Thanksgiving Food Disliker, so I had a teriyaki burger with grilled pineapple). We also conveniently arrived during happy hour, so my Moscow Mule was $6, as was my mom’s drink, a rum-based Creamsicle.
After supper, we saw Penn and Teller at the Rio. Have I talked about my philosophy re: magic here before? Ok, here it is. I don’t want to know shit. I don’t want you to tell me shit. I don’t understand how magic tricks work, and I don’t understand how the US postal system works, and I hope I never, ever do.
Magic is especially interesting to me because I utterly lack hand-eye coordination. On some level, I know it’s mostly sleight of hand. But I barely even know how to hold a pencil. I managed to break an embroidery needle this week. I’ve broken a phone by dropping a comically oversized bottle of glue on it. Sleight of hand? “Palming” an object to hide it? Beyond me entirely. At one point, Penn (the big one) and Teller (the small one) did a card trick with 55 participants! What! How!!!! Don’t tell me!!!!!!
We enjoyed the show a lot. And, after eating so much, it was great to sit still in a warm dark room for a couple hours, rather than traipsing around the strip in the cold.
The Rio also turned out to be a pretty good location for me personally! On Tuesday and Wednesday, I played penny-ante deuces wild video poker. Starting with one dollar, I was down to $0.99 when we made our way to the Rio. Then, I put $10 in a Wheel of Fortune slot machine in the high-limit room and won $100 on my first spin. I decided to stop after that. Ultimately I left Vegas up by $99.99, which I think is the true meaning of Thanksgiving.
What I Did Not Buy This Week
As I’m sure you can imagine, most of what I didn’t buy this week is Vegas strip-centric. But! If you’re looking for something you can/should buy this week, my friend
put together a gift guide that includes suggestions from yours truly. And, her suggestions are all small businesses, so get to shopping!Now, here’s What I Did Not Buy This Week:
Any hats from the hat shop we walked past, because I had a yardlong pina colada in hand and there was a very clear “NO FOOD OR DRINK” sign out front
Spam musubi, which were advertised as 2/$5 at every ABC store but not actually available in any of them. I’m choosing to believe the good people of Las Vegas have simply eaten all the Spam in town. I can respect this!
Any of the VARIOUS Sanrio plush commemorating Hello Kitty’s 50th anniversary
Nary a crumb of Sanrio plush at all! Not a Hello Kitty in a jaunty sailor cap, nor any of my Royal Order of Little Guys holding Vegas signs
A pedicure from Dr. Fish Spa. This was very tempting. We stood and watched a woman cackling like a maniac as tiny fish chewed on her feet
Any of several Las Vegas shirts I saw that were intended for small children but which I could’ve probably squeezed into, were I committed to being deeply uncomfortable
A $19 midori sour that didn’t even come in a cool cup!
The cherry pop body wash at Lush that is exclusive to the “kitchen box” subscription. They had a sample of this available in one of the stores we went to, and it smelled FANTASTIC, but not enough to justify a $50/month subscription
A number of very Hattieesque things at a store called Attic Salt, including: a Sailor Moon sheet mask, multiple Calico Critters sets, a cup with Furbies on it, a wallet with My Little Ponies on it, Sanrio plush earrings, something called “bibi-chibis,” and this Berenstain Bears sweatshirt, which I actually really regret not buying even though it was $42 (I didn’t know I was gonna win a hundred bucks at the Rio mere hours later!!!)
Kraft Mac n Cheese popcorn or Oscar Mayer Bacon Cheddar popcorn
A great $1.49 magnet (because my mom bought it for me)
Any of the other Peelerz flavors I haven’t tried—my friend Stephanie gifted me the banana Peelerz, I loved them, and yet I resisted snapping up the mango, peach or orange ones in Vegas (mostly because I had no room for candy)
This floral throw blanket advertised to me (not Vegas but pretty!) (I refuse to shop Amazon on Black Friday/Cyber Monday/Prime Days because their deals aren’t deals, they suck, and I don’t want them to think I’m falling for their fake discounts!)
A switch game called “Little Friends: Dogs and Cats” which I saw online, and which I originally thought was $975 before realizing “Wait, this is the Nintendo Mexico site and that price is in pesos, how did I even get here? And how much is that in USD?” ($49.99 is still too high for me!)
And, hey, speaking of Little Friends who are Cats…I gotta go pet a cat who stayed home from Vegas. Thank you for your patience and happy Thanksgiving Weekend!
