The Friday Dispatch: August 11, 2023

Wow, long time no read!

Hi everyone! Happy Friday! It has been VERY weird not writing to you this week. Not necessarily bad-weird, just…weird! Usually, every morning, I kick off my day by making a mental note of what I’ll be writing about that day. This week, I’ve spun that energy into other efforts, mostly work and packing. But! I’ve also put in time with my novel. I didn’t expect to even touch it until the end of this month, and then my novel writing group had a focused writing session instead of a workshop this week. It really helped and I will probably be doing that with all my free time into the fall.

Ew, fall.

Yesterday was, apparently, the last time the sun will set after 8pm in New York City until next May. I am trying not to be depressed about it. I just learned to like fall! I can do this! It’s too hot and stinky anyway! I love Christmas! That’s happening soon!

Ugh.

So, long time, no talk, here’s what’s new in Hattieland.

I Am The Worst Person Who Has Ever Lived

If you have a truck, please drive it to my house and run over all my toes and then make me stick my hands in some sharp glass. Ok? Thank you!

While cutting Dottie’s claws last night, something new and bad happened. Dottie has never had her claws clipped by a professional. I do it at home and she likes it! Usually, I sit in my chair and click-click the clippers a couple times. She comes running, hops on my lap, purrs while I trim her nails, and then lets me pet her and give her treats. Dottie has never once growled or hissed at me when I have trimmed her claws.

Until last night.

:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :((((((

I was clipping her nails. I had gotten through 7/10 (I only do the front paws). On number 8, I clipped, she hissed. Not at me – it was clearly a hiss of pain. AND THEN, SHE STARTED BLEEDING. AND IT WAS HORRIBLE. It wasn’t that much blood, actually, but Dottie shook her little paw and flinged blood all over herself and my nightgown and the floor :( and then I held her paw above her head and squeezed the claw to staunch the bleeding (which she allowed). When it had slowed, I let her hop down, and she only licked it a couple of times before walking on it, then happily jumping up on the desk and draping herself dramatically next to my laptop. She didn’t seem mad at me whatsoever – she didn’t even scratch or bite – but maybe that’s because I’m evil and have tricked her into trusting me, even though I CHOPPED her NAIL with a SHARP BLADE and gave her a WOUND?!?!

She still fell asleep at the foot of my bed last night. This morning, she heard my alarm go off, walked up to the head of the bed, sat next to my face, and chirped at me until I got up. So I think she forgives me.

I wanna throw up just writing about it.

Chatting Abbott Everything

On Tuesday afternoon, I spoke with the wonderful Debbie Abbott of

Dharma Direction

. She interviewed me about all thinks poetry, all things newsletter, all things Regina Spektor…and a few curveballs! A video recording will be coming out soon, and you’ll get to enjoy us bopping to our “theme song.” I’m excited to share it here so you can get a behind-the-scenes peek at some of my favorite poems.

If You’re Reading This, Watch Frances Ha

My only real extracurricular this weekend is watching one of my all-time favorite movies¹ in the theater with my friend Tara. When I first saw Frances Ha, I hate hate hated it. I was so mad at Greta Gerwig and swore that, despite our alliterative auteur-worthy names, I would never watch any of her movies any again. Here’s how that turned out.

One of the heaviest things I’ve had to pack during my move is a book that combines a frame-by-frame collection of stills from Frances Ha with the entire screenplay. It’s one of my “comfort movies,” something I watch at least once a year. All my friends have either seen it (because they know I love it) or sent me the listing when they saw it was back in theaters for a short time.

So, why did I dislike Frances Ha when I first watched it? Probably because I was 20. Being 20 is the cause of many bad ideas/decisions/opinions. And it wasn’t even a bad opinion, really. I just wasn’t ready. At 20, I was still navigating the extremely painful, awkward, and oftentimes embarrassing realities of adult friendships, which are the heart of the movie. Frances, at one point, apologizes for her entire personality by saying “Sorry, I’m not a real person yet.” At 20, I felt very firmly I was a full entire person. At 28 (the age Frances is in the film), I am nowhere near as sure. Though I’m not compelled to apologize for it – maybe because I don’t know many “real people” either. Quite some time after seeing Frances Ha, I felt compelled to re-watch it, and I found myself with a lot more patience and tenderness for the situation Frances found herself in. My attitude was a lot more gentle. And now that I’ve met people in real life who are carbon copies of Adam Driver’s character (oof), my heart goes out to all the poor suffering characters in the film who have to put up with him.

New Yorkers, there’s a special “black and white film fest” weekend event going on at the Metrograph. Go forth! See films! But especially France Ha!

Things I Didn’t Buy This Week

• As everyone with ears knows, there is no better feeling than pushing your sunglasses up on top of your head, letting the arms of your frames hug the backs of your ears. If you have hair, you also know this is the best your hair can ever look: using sunglasses as a headband.
  Well, this week, my mom sent me headbands that LOOK and FEEL like sunglasses…but they aren’t! They don’t have frames! They are faux-sunglasses headbands that hug the backs of your ears. As a long-time hair-haver, I can attest that most headbands squeeze your head like a pimple and it hurts real bad. But these cradle your head like an overripe banana. Highly recommend!

• Hey, speaking of glasses…my beloved Zenni frames are discontinued. I have looked at approximately 130 pairs of round glasses in bright colors to use as a replacement. None are correct. Recommendations welcome.

• Did you know wallpaper is VERY EXPENSIVE? I did too. But I thought I could try finding a super bargain.
  I can’t. May experiment with a “gift wrap as wallpaper” theory. Watch this space!

• Hey, speaking of wallpaper…doesn’t this “dark cherry red marble wallpaper for countertops waterproof contact paper” look like meat?

  

• I can’t remember if I wrote about this already, but I am sorely tempted to order this croissant perfume. The only thing holding me back: the company also sells a gasoline-inspired perfume called “Dead Dinosaur,” which I think is a mean name. Also, $65 for 30ML is ridiculous.

• I don’t need a parasol, right guys? Not even a cute rainbow one? Not even one with kittens on it? Or ribbons? To protect me from the sun? It’s silly, yes? Unnecessary? Right?

Apartment 2G

Two years ago, I made this playlist of music I was REALLY fixated on as I was moving into my apartment. I’ve been listening to it recently as I prepare to leave behind Apartment 2G. There’s a song I made my brother Shazam as we heard it from a passing car on Coney Island. There’s a song I heard at 7 or 8 am the day after a concert when I had NO business still being out. There’s a Josie and the Pussycats song because that movie rocks. It’s an eclectic mix. It’s an eclectic apartment. It fits.

I hope you enjoy the playlist, and your weekend! I’ll check in again next Friday.

1. Yes I should be packing/moving/building furniture, but this movie is in theaters for one weekend only!