The Friday Dispatch: January 13, 2023
Happy Friday the 13th! [hockey mask emoji] [lake emoji] [knife emoji]
Hello! Wow, wasn’t this week faster than last week? It’s Friday the 13th, which is a very lucky day, at least in my family!
Everything is good here. The only major drama: my Dunkin’ keeps running out of the new Brownie Batter donut before I can get one. I can tell the staff feels bad for me because they gave me an extra jelly donut and a free bag of snackin’ bacon.
Hey, just a reminder: next week I launch the paid version of this newsletter. Finally! After two months of escalating threats!
On Tuesday, paid subscribers will receive an essay (the first one is about a midcentury modern secretary desk I do not own). On Thursday, paid subscribers will receive journal-style responses to a poem – in fact, the same poem, every day, as I read it closer and closer. Week-to-week, the topics I write about and the poems I study will change, but you’ll get my thoughts on all of them.
If you want to subscribe to the free version of this newsletter or upgrade to a $5/month premium version that will increase your fuel efficiency, click below.
Manual Transmission
My friend Sarah probably does not know she sent me careening down a rabbit hole this week. On Tuesday, she shared this link to the website Analog Office. It’s all about indexing your notebooks, so you can refer back to them after using them. Helpful, realistic, and thoughtful advice! I was excited to use it!
And then I spent hours reading every single thing on the website and thinking about ways to implement the tips into my own writing life.
I am a Woman Who Collects Notebooks. Multiple people have sent me this tweet:
…and my feelings weren’t even hurt because it’s TRUE1! But on the advice of two other tweets, I am trying to be better about making thorough use of my notebooks. And I’m trying not to be so reliant on my phone/computer. So, indexing my assorted journals is probably a good way to do that – especially since I’m one of those people who says, This Is My X Notebook and I Refuse To Use It For Purposes Y, Q, or Z.
Analog Office has something for everyone, whether you want to cut down your screentime, make better use of your “perfect” notebooks, or just need cool desk toys.
Works? Cited!
Real Hattheads2 might have already noticed this (in part because I posted about it to Facebook), but I updated my website! Actually, I updated three websites in one fell swoop, because I bought all the domains that people typically use to try and navigate their way to me (highly recommend this course of action to anyone who uses both their first and middle name!). Visit hattiehayes.com, hattiejhayes.com, or hattiejeanhayes.com to see the most up-to-date compendium of my work. Also, if hattie dot com ever becomes available, I’ll buy that too.
I’ve added a section on the website for my lifestyle writing. Up until recently, I’ve kept all evidence of my “day job” away from my other work. But following a spate of particularly good originals by me (including a Cher-themed story that includes dance aerobics), I’ve added a selection of my lifestyle writing to the site – it’s the first section you see when you land. Scroll down to find my poetry, fiction, essays, and information about other non-writing projects.
Chef’s Specials (It’s Me I’m Chef)
Keeping it low on the recommendations this week because I have been a) writing and b) getting close to finishing 30 Rock. Luckily, the recommendations I do have are doozies.
Catherine Lacey fans. Where are you? Why are you reading my newsletter, when you could be pre-ordering Biography of X, which is out in March? I got my grubby little paws on a galley of this book and devoured it like fire. Or maybe I ran through it like someone escaping a fire. It’s a hot book, is what I’m saying. If you’re new to Catherine Lacey’s work, spend the afternoon reading Pew, a haunting short novel, gorgeously crafted. I read Pew on my family’s front porch, and I remember the chill creeping over my whole body as I realized where the story was taking me.
Finally watched Pearl! It was good! Unfortunately, a lot of the most impactful moments were spoiled for me by Twitter. This is part of Ti West’s trilogy X (available to stream), Pearl (ditto), and Maxxxine (currently in pre-production). Watch it for the score and the Day-Glo, Technicolor, sunshiney murder vistas. It wasn’t scary, but it included my most tangible: maggots.
This is not a media recommendation, but I suggest you try: apple cider with stuff in it. “Stuff,” you say, deadpan, clearly skeptical. “Yes,” I say, defiant, “stuff.”
In my case, “stuff” is salted-caramel-flavored coffee syrup, which I bought in October, during my valiant attempt to be an Autumnal Girl. Before bedtime, add a couple blobs of coffee syrup to your apple cider, microwave it, and enjoy being warm, sugar-filled, and decaffeinated.
Dottie break:
Things I Did Not Buy This Week
I didn’t do as much Windows shopping as usual this week, because I’ve been busy. I didn’t even play the game where I walk by The Strand and go “Oh, hmmmm, a new bookstore, I’ve never EVER been here, I should support this brand-new business by looking around!”
This pastel foil-print calendar, which I also had in 2020. I think it should cost six dollars, and until it costs six dollars, I refuse to buy it. In fact, I am so indignant at the $12.99 price tag, I am going to the dollar store.
An eyebrow wax. My eyebrow wax place DOES cost six dollars, but I keep missing my chance to go. Soon though.
…and one thing I DID!!!
In a shock twist, I bought something in the last week that I feel the need to advocate for. It’s not a sponsored bit of content, I won’t make money off the recommendation, I just think you need it.
One of the Target brands, Auden, has this bra called the “Women’s Bliss Lightly Lined Wirefree Bra.” It is a long title that reminds me vaguely of yogurt. It does not sound sexy at all. The bra looks very utilitarian in its online photos. But, breaking news, it rocks. It kicks ass, and titties. It will push your boobs up to your unwaxed eyebrows, and everyone will say “Wow, I love your boobs!” even though that’s incredibly rude. It converts into a racerback. There’s a plus-size version, too, which goes up to a 46G. I can’t speak for any of the other styles – yet – but I ordered some other styles that were on clearance. I got my new favorite plain old black bra for only $10.99, so set up a price drop alert.
Hey, not to get too personal, but: I really, really enjoy writing these newsletters. I want to keep doing it. In fact, I’d like to do it more!
So, again, please, if you haven’t already, consider upgrading to a paid version before the first premium issues go out next week. Frankly, it would be a really big deal for me! My rent and my health insurance are going up this year, and while I’ve already added more freelance work to my plate, any little bit helps.
If you can’t afford to upgrade or simply don’t want to, I understand. But if you enjoy the newsletter, please forward it to a friend! I’ve met some lovely people and been introduced to talented artists and writers through this newsletter. I’d love to find even more – and for your friends to find me.
Well – sorta. I rarely buy notebooks, but I am gifted them often, and I’m always wildly happy about it.
(yes, I am going to make this A Thing)