The Friday Dispatch: March 7, 2025

I have to delete all these pirated Columbo episodes from my computer

Hello ! It’s me. It’s Friday. I am full of tofu, goat cheese and good vibes. It also looks sunny-ish, so I am keeping this short because I want to go play outside.

Also, look at this focus group which bullied me:

awh :(

I Did So Much Last Week

Thank you to everyone who attended or livestreamed We Stan Together and Prop In The Bucket this week! I am going to be putting somewhere between 1 and 3 new parody song videos online this weekend, including the one from this past Sunday’s We Stan Together. The lyric video was my most elaborate one so far, and I want to make sure the Live Performance Edit does it justice. Meanwhile here’s what my downloads folder looks like:

And! Prop in the Bucket was SO FUN, plus we will be returning in April with another show (and another set of randomly-assigned props, which will be the basis of all the sketches). I will be able to share some of those show videos soon, too, but in the meantime here are some photos devoid of all context:

If you want to keep an eye out for my parody songs, sketches, etc. etc. etc…why don’t you head on over to my YouTube page? It is easy to do. Here, I’ll even make it easier on you by sharing two recent uploads!

I wrote & performed two songs on

Tristan Miller

’s going-away show and now they’re both on my channel. This one is called Super Star Wars and is also brilliantly edited by Tristan who helped me become the space princess I have always dreamed of being.

I am a long-time Star Wars fan but a fairly recent inductee into the Fellowship of the Ring. If you are also new to LotR, no worries! I have penned a song that summarizes the books (well. the films) succinctly and in a melodic, easy-to-remember format. In this video, I have edited the live performance audio over the lyric video because there are a lot of very dumb memes and jokes in the video itself, and I wouldn’t want you to miss that now would I? Real “YouTube in 2009” energy from this one.

I Am Doing So Much Saturday and Sunday

Guess what, if you did NOT see me on Sunday or Wednesday…you can still see me on Saturday and Sunday!!!!! Isn’t our linear perception of time incredible?!

Tomorrow (Saturday)

I am on the Handle With Care storytelling series at P&T Knitwear Bookstore, Saturday, 5PM! This is NOT a comedy thing (rare). Instead I will be sharing a true story about a doctor’s visit I had in 2021, blood, rainstorms, small dogs, and (of course) my tendency to cry! To cry a lot!!! Please attend if this appeals to you.

It’s free to attend and the RSVP link is right here!

Two Morrows (Sunday)

I am in the Women Who (Almost) Made History comedy show at UCB on Sunday, at 7PM! This is a really fun rapid-fire marathon show of short character bits. No spoilers, but I’ve seen the lineup, and pretty much everyone’s characters are creative and hilarious and I am so looking forward to seeing them in real life.

It costs $10 to livestream or attend in person, and you can get a ticket right here!

Please! Watch This Lady Sing To Her Dog

What else is new? Anything? Hmm. Oh! I bought ten different types of cheese from Aldi on Saturday. And then, this happened:

A mouse appeared in our kitchen, under the stove. I was alerted to it by Dottie, who, true to her nature, did not make any attempt to constrain or destroy the mouse. At one point, when we lived in Phoenix, there was a mouse living in my kitchen, and I learned this because I walked in one day to find the mouse and Dottie casually hanging out.

Anyway. Cheese enters my home. Mouse enters my home. Coincidence? I think not!

What I Did Not Buy This Week

Let it be known that I was already in the process of making a (heart shaped) chocolate cake with Dolly Parton cake mix when I heard that Dolly’s husband, Carl Dean, had passed away. I did not buy the cake mix or the heart-shaped cake pans (they were a gift from my mom!) but I did use them to create this. Everybody, make a cake for a person you love today.

Here’s What I Did Not Buy This Week.

• This memory matching game which features fairies in a cottage

• Book plates. No, not bookplates: book plates. There are Little Women ones and The Great Gatsby ones. I only wish they came in full “dinner service for 12” sets.

• A Barbie dumbphone¹…Hmm. I really dislike being So On My Phone and I think that, when T-Mobile asks me to upgrade my phone, I will say “Can I please just switch to this Barbie phone and never use my phone to access the internet ever again?” As some Hattheads may know, I miss, every day, my late great Blackberry Curve, an ORANGE Sprint exclusive. The platonic ideal of phones.

• The Moschino ice cream float dress or this circus-y number I found while trying to locate the Poshmark listing for the ice cream dress (I failed)

• A big Alfred E. Neuman mask I saw in the window of Academy Records

• A potato from this deli, where a cat hopped up as I was trying to photograph their signage (which implies Breakfast Baked Potato)

  

• Possum sweater (Amy…)

• This pretty bow dress or this pretty bow dress. Based on the reviews I’ve seen online, it sounds like Bonne Chance Collection is suited for shorter folks than I am, but maybe if they ever have a tremendous sale I will give it a shot.

And that is our Friday! If you’ll excuse me, I need to go eat some cinnamon rolls and put a little bit of goat cheese on them because I am a culinary mastermind. Perhaps I shall see you tomorrow and / or Sunday at my shows! Thank you and goodnight!

1. For whatever reason the Walmart URL on the Barbie Phone reads as though it will direct you to Long Boys Coconut Caramel Bulk Candy? Another thing I didn’t buy but would like to!