The Friday Dispatch: November 24, 2023
Black Friday coupon: 30% off a hug from me (reduced from $0.00!)
Hi! Happy Friday! I had pie for breakfast, I’ve got a fridge full of leftovers, and I’m gonna be writing all weekend. One month til Christmas eve. Let’s do this!
Thanksgiving Watch List
Plus, one book recommendation (a hand-me-down!).
Yesterday, after listening to Alice’s Restaurant and the Adam Sandler turkey song, my boyfriend and I started and ended the day with some classic films; in the middle, we watched Thanksgiving movies. That’s the cinematic equivalent of a turkey sandwich. For your viewing pleasure, I’ve included our list below – and the two that we’re going to watch tonight – but first: a book!
A long time ago my friend Elizabeth recommended So Long, See You Tomorrow by William Maxwell. I put a hold in for it at the library, forgot to ever pick it up. And then I read about it in The Art of Intimacy, re-placed my library hold, and…let the eBook hold expire. SO, THEN, when I was looking at a list of “best short novels” because my brain was [dial up noise], I saw it AGAIN and I re-did my library hold and I read it in a few hours. WOOF. Beautiful, heartbreaking book. Highly recommend. Thank you Elizabeth.
Shop Around the Corner – Last week while Myles was in a workshop, I threw on You’ve Got Mail as writing-background-noise for me. After he came into the living room and cried at the last act of the movie with me, he said, “We should watch Shop Around the Corner!” and he was right. Cute and funny and charming as hell – the movie is also very good! I forgot that it is set in Budapest, a fact that Mr. James Stewart makes absolutely no effort to acknowlege, either.
Home for the Holidays – Holy shit, guys. Every time I watch this movie, I think, “This should be a national Thanksgiving tradition in the way Planes, Trains & Automobiles is.” Holly Hunter, looking hotter than any other woman has ever looked, plays an anxious mess of a single mom who goes home to see her family for Thanksgiving, borrows her mom's coat, runs into Maid Marian from Robin Hood: Men in Tights, and eventually gets her happy ending. Oh, by that I mean, she gets to hang out with her cool little brother, Robert Downey Jr.
Planes, Trains & Automobiles – An exquisite film, and not just because the perfect title eschews the serial comma.
Ball of Fire – Myles and I watched this because it was free on YouTube, stars Barbara Stanwyck opposite Gary Cooper1, and is about a group of encyclopedia writers. Hilarious screwball comedy. My Fair Lady meets Guys and Dolls. Also featuring S. Z. Sakall, from Christmas in Connecticut, and Henry Travers, aka CLARENCE ODBODY the GUARDIAN ANGEL HIMSELF from It's a Wonderful Life.
Christmas in Connecticut – Myles introduced me to this and I can’t wait to watch it again later tonight. Barbara Stanwyck (hi again, Barb!!!) is a New York magazine writer who, for the sake of her lifestyle stories, puts on the persona of a happily-married farmer's wife. But when her ruse is nearly uncovered...get this...she has to embark on a madcap adventure and, in doing so, sets off a chain of events which result in farcical predicaments and an unexpected chance at true love!
It’s a Wonderful Life – C’mon. It’s a month til Christmas. Time to get serious. Time to cry like a little weenie. Time to drunkenly text my friends “Zuzu Bailey is a beautiful name for a little girl.”
My Biggest and Most Controversial Opinion
If something is “buy one, get one half off,” that is not really a BOGO sale. It should not be legal to advertise this as a “BOGO” sale. Really I don’t think it is a sale if I have to spend money in order to receive a discount. “Buy one, get one free” is a true BOGO sale. I have held onto this anger since a series of Payless commercials from the early 2000s alerted me to the scourge of counterfit “BOGO” sales, and I have been simmering ever since.
In other news, I haven’t done any Black Friday shopping.
In My Dagwood Era
For the second time ever, I did not return to Missouri for Thanksgiving. I stayed in New York. Since I’ve been traveling so much and I already have multiple trips planned for both December and January, I took a brief hiatus to be a floppy carcass-woman in my warm apartment.
I’m also not big on Thanksgiving food. Last year, my family and I circumvented our seasonal ambivalence by going to Cracker Barrel, where the menu had a small selection of non-Thanksgiving options (though the pumpkin pie was mandatory). This year, knowing that Thanksgiving was going to be me, my boyfriend, and the world’s loudest cat, I was free to pursue my wildest fantasy: Big Sandwich Thanksgiving.
In the spirit of the season I knew I would make a Thanksgiving Sandwich. This is straightforward: turkey, swiss, cranberry sauce, gravy for Myles. BUT! I also had a stroke of genius. I made stuffing. Then I hollowed out my loaf of bread. AND THEN, I FILLED THE BREAD WITH STUFFING. AND THEN I PUT THE BREAD ON A COOKIE SHEET AND I WARMED IT. AND THEN WE HAD SANDWICHES WITH STUFFING-STUFFED BREAD.
But what I was really excited for was the Big Sandwich.
The Big Sandwich is a two-foot loaf of bread, slathered with all the things I wish were on every sandwich I ever eat. I visualized it. I went to the grocery store. I procured ingredients. And then, I manifested.
Buttered bread
Garlic mustard aioli
Herbed goat cheese
Provolone
Prosciutto (x2), salami, spicy pepperoni
Greens tossed with creamy garlic balsamic
Crunchy freeze-dried onion chips
Garlic pepper seasoning
As I was constructing the Big Sandwich, I remembered a CD-ROM game from my childhood, Fisher Price Big Action Construction. This was like the Easy Bake Oven computer game, in that there was a little sculptural playset-interface you place over the keyboard to control the game. But it was a constrcution game, because Masculinity! I would play this for hours and hours, even when I was probably “too old” for it, because the minigames were so fun. The best, by far, was the “lunch break” minigame, where you constructed large, STINKY sandwiches. And in reflecting on it, the origins of yesterday’s perfect Big Sandwich trace back to this Fisher Price game:
WIDNBTW
Like I said, I didn’t do much Black Friday shopping today! And here’s a bunch of other stuff I did not buy this week.
I have been eyeballing this overpriced, personalizable Levenger tote bag for a few weeks now. It’s “on sale” for Black Friday at the price of $130 – curiously enough, that “special sale” price is exactly the same it was with a different, non-Black-Friday coupon code that I received a week ago. Anyway. I refuse to spend more than $40 on a purse. BUT, while drooling over the brand’s Methodology line, I learned about their Oxford Book Tote/Bloomsbury Book Bag, a far-less-expensive option with SIX exterior pockets for notebooks, book-books and pen cases of all kinds. I managed to win two book totes on eBay for under $50 total (I really low-balled the offers and did NOT expect to get both!), one “like new” leather version and one brand-new canvas version. Can officially report that they are roomy, durable, delightful, and will be in major rotation as I lug my junk through the holiday season.
Speaking of eBay, I keep meaning to buy a vintage Kansas City Plaza Lights sweatshirt and I keep forgetting! I think I wrote about this in one of last year’s November or December dispatches, so don’t say I’m not a procrastinator.
I keep getting an ad for Doodle Dazzles and I did NOT ask Santa for them but I think…I think I will.
Lettuce umbrella.
I didn’t but a ticket to The Sting’s 50th anniversary screening, because…it doesn’t seem to exist? But every time I’ve looked at upcoming movie showtimes, Fandango tries to tell me that The Sting is back in theaters, and that I should go see it. I would!!! But someone, somewhere, is lying to me!!! Maybe I’ll show up to the theater and it’ll actually be a fake cinema constructed by my con men nemeses who are out for revenge.
These floral Nathalie Lete chairs, which I would paint in bizarro neon colors. The Dutch masters take Vegas, babyyyy!
I did not buy the Kristina Micotti tomato scarf.
I did not buy a Mt Tam cheese from Cowgirl Creamery, though I DID consider it for Big Sandwich purposes.
I did not buy this book, The Writing Retreat by Julia Bartz, but I may claim it as a winter vacation read.
This stupid, stupid, wonderful ridiculous water bottle that looks like a big Burt’s Bees lip balm. Oh come on. Come on now. I am a big Novelty Beverage Holder Girl – just look at the Cherry Limeade Sonic cup my mom got me! (below) – but I cannot justify spending $30 on a water bottle, even one as delightful as this. Oh please come on now. I’m not even a Burt’s Bees girlie, and I adore it.
Still managing to resist the Paris Hilton kitchen collection but my desire for a cute knife block may win the day. Plus, I can’t ask for this as a gift; it’s bad luck to give someone a knife or scissors.
Alrighty, kids. That’s it for today! Have a great remainder of the weekend, whether it started on Wednesday or won’t begin until Saturday morning cartoons. Thanks for reading. And hey, paid subscribers – be on the lookout for a special newsletter from me in a couple of days, with a behind-the-scenes peek at the color-changing “fall leaves” manicure I did this week.
Thanks for reading! I am very, very grateful that you give my words a soft place to land.
super duper