Hello! Happy Friday! It is after 5pm, so I have moved from my desk to the couch, where I will have a buffer between writing (work) and writing (book). And that buffer? It’s writing (newsletter) while watching Holly’s World1, the spinoff of Girls Next Door.
I’m also drinking a diluted $2.50 pumpkin spice latte from Matto Espresso, which I bought earlier and have been steadily watering down with my regular brew coffee. More on that in a few paragraphs.
Well, That Was a Rollercoaster
Guys, I am not made for the internet! I cannot be on here!!! I can’t hold it together!
I was reminded of this today while talking my boyfriend out of going to the chiropractor. Now, let me be clear: I DO NOT want him to suffer. However, a Reddit rabbit hole introduced me to the concept of “vertebral artery dissection,” which is an adverse effect of chiropractic manipulation in which YOUR BONES RIP OPEN YOUR ARTERY AND MAKE YOU DEAD!!! A tear in the tissues of the vertebral artery can lead to stroke, paralysis or death2, none of which I want for ANY of my loved ones but ESPECIALLY my boyfriend.
So I went on YouTube! I know, “don’t see a chiropractor, let me go on YouTube” seems like even stronger quackery than I was telling him to avoid. But I found some videos from physical therapists that seemed helpful, and started browsing for one that was specific to his area of shoulder pain. Then the theme song for Bob & Brad got me. Just listen to this. They’re the two most famous physical therapists on the internet!
The “how to fix shoulder pain in seconds” video DID help him almost instantly, so we were on board. But then I noticed that the videos suggested to me, the ones with the fun theme song, were from around four years ago. So I decided to look at their channel’s more recent uploads. I noticed that Bob didn’t seem to be in those newer ones, which made me worried. I scrolled until I found this one, “Update on Bob.”
As it turns out, in recent years, Bob developed ataxia, a neurological condition, and had to step back from the channel to focus on his health. He seems to be doing well, but hearing him talk about his struggles and the support he’s received from his family and friends reduced me to tears. In the span of around 10 minutes, I went from not knowing who Bob and Brad were, to being charmed by their channel, to openly weeping as I watched their videos. That is too much emotion for a Friday evening.
Do I Like Fall Yet?
Well, I guess it is finally fall. I hope you are happy, gourdsexuals. I will don my funerary attire to mourn the loss of summer. As longtime Hattheads know, I am historically a Big Hater of fall/autumn, crunchy leaves, nutmeg, pumpkin, plaid shirt + brown boots, hayrides, cozy flannels, curling up on the sofa for a Gilmore Girls marathon, the Halloween decor section of Target, wearing jeans, layered scarves, neutral colors, and Taylor Swift's studio album Red. Fall makes me so, so, so depressed. But I am trying to like it!
So far, I have had three pumpkin spice lattes this year, plus a carrot cake muffin. They’ve been good! I got one of the Starbucks PSLs with caramel sauce, which toned down the autumnal vibes considerably and just made it a Tasty Dessert Drink. I’ve watched 2/3 of Practical Magic and managed to resist buying orange hair dye. Always a miracle - see how I feel mid-October.
We’re one day into fall, and I give it a 6.5/10 so far (weather has been bad [freezing], all the scary movies out right now look sort of boring, nowhere has maple lattes for some reason). Can I avoid Halloween altogether this year? Stay tuned.
Stuff I Liked And So Should You
I finally took an Angela Trimbur “balletcore” class! I tried an online one yesterday, since the skate rink was closed, and it was a ton of fun. The premise behind the choreography: You are a cool, fun, sexy waitress, you are closing up the restaurant where you work, and you have a hot date afterward, so you’re dancing as you clean because you’re excited. This is precisely the level of storytelling I need to remember any of my gross/fine motor skills!
I started reading Mary Jo Bang after someone introduced me to her translation of Dante at a live reading of The Inferno at St. John the Divine (typical!). She has a new book out, A Film in Which I Play Everyone, which seems like a poetic answer to Catherine Lacey's Biography of X. I just ordered it (still using up my promo credit from the book concierge at The Best Bookstore in Palm Springs) and am eager for it to arrive.
Speaking of poetry: I’m attending a couple of virtual workshops at Poet’s House soon! You should look at their fall class schedule, and don’t be afraid to email and ask about their financial aid/need-based scholarships.
I rewatched Sugar and Spice, a seminal genre-bending film, about high school cheerleaders who stage a bank heist. It has some of the staple issues of a movie from 2001 (weird fart jokes, uncomfortably mean high school dialogue) but it’s absolutely James Marsden’s best work.
Does anyone know who sings the Holly’s World theme song, “Miss Las Vegas?” I need it for…purposes.
I don’t have anything good for “What I Didn’t Buy This Week” because I’ve been avoiding the internet and trying to ignore all my social media notifications, where possible, because I am writing my dopey book. The only “WIDBTW” I have, really, is Scrivener, a novel-writing software I do want to try, but know will serve as a distraction from doing the actual work of editing.
Maybe I’ll give it a shot for the next manuscript, which I would LOVE to start working on this year. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
My initial reaction: needs more Holly, less of the World. The great thing about Girls Next Door is that it was primarily Girls! This spinoff has a bunch of people I do not care about.
Am I a little hypochondriatic? Yeah. But unfortunately for everyone in my life, I have internet access, which means I will ALWAYS be able to tell you about worst-possible-scenarios of medical procedures. Don’t get a nose job! Even if the procedure itself goes okay, some people have the sensation of their nasal cavity collapsing, and it never goes away, and it ruins their lives!!! Everything is so scary!!!!!!!